This
tournament consists of eight of the greatest verbal heavyweights in
our sport engaging in verbal violence, a competition that only really
exists and makes sense in my head. Bouts will be judged on such
things as the ability to use puns effectively, swearing, and actually
pointing out things that are interesting in a fight. Points may be
deducted for unwarranted hyperbole, useless information and ignoring
the fighters to talk about people in the crowd, Randy Couture's new
movie, etc.
Mike Goldberg (UFC)
vs Micheal Schiavello (HDnet)
The first quarter final
sees the UFC's Mike Goldberg take on the well travelled Australian
Micheal Schiavello. While Goldberg has been tried and tested on the
biggest stage, Schiavello has valuable international experience,
having said “Goodnight Irene” very loudly all over the world.
Round 1:
The
round begins with both fighters tentatively but dutifully describing
the action, in spite of the action consisting mostly of feints and
leg kicks. Goldie hands Schiavello an easy opening saying “Anderson
Silva like in his use of the clinch is Fabricio Werdum, Joe”, but
Schiavello fails to capitalise by pointing out that no, he isn't.